What should I do when my conscience constantly condemns me?

Well, first we need to understand what the conscience is and why it’s important. Every image bearer of God possesses this faculty called the conscience that functions as a kind of moral thermostat for life. According to Romans 1, all human beings, even after the fall, possess the knowledge that God exists and have a sense of right and wrong. In the same way the warning lights on your car dashboard light up when there’s a problem that needs attention, God designed the conscience to function as a kind of alarm that goes off when we are thinking and acting in ways that are contrary to his Word. Because of this, as a general rule, it’s important to listen to our conscience. Going against what we deeply believe to be right is spiritually dangerous.

However, and this is a big however, the conscience is not infallible. It is not always reliable. Conscience may warn us that something is wrong when in fact Scripture doesn’t prohibit it, or we may have a clear conscience about doing something that Scripture says is sin. So contrary to Jiminy Cricket’s advice to Pinocchio, don’t always let your conscience be your guide. It isn’t always the voice of God. Even the apostle Paul thought so. He says essentially in 1 Corinthians 4:4 that his conscience is clear, but that doesn’t necessarily make him innocent. He ultimately submits himself to the Lord, who sees and knows all. Now, given the fallibility of both our fallen and redeemed conscience, it’s important that we seek, over the course of our lives, to increasingly calibrate our conscience to God’s revealed moral standards in Scripture.

Now that we know what the conscience is and how it functions, let’s return to the question: What should I do when my conscience constantly condemns me? Well, the answer depends on why your conscience is condemning you. Why is the alarm bell incessantly ringing? Well, there are several possibilities. First, you could be engaged in clear and unrepentant sin. In that case, it’s a mercy of God that the alarm bells keep ringing. I’m talking here about specific sin, not simply a generalized sense that I’m a sinner. So maybe something like an ongoing adulterous affair or a secret pornography habit, or you’re embezzling from your company, or that you’ve lied to a friend. How do you gain a clear conscience in that situation? Well, you repent before God and those whom you have harmed.

A second possibility is that you might not grasp the freedom that you have through the gracious and unmerited nature of your salvation. Although you believe that you are saved by grace through faith in Jesus, functionally you may be living as though your favor before God depends on your daily performance. And when you look at your record, you see failure. And so your conscience is perpetually troubled. But at the cross, Jesus took your guilt and punishment, and he has given you his righteousness. Listen to what Hebrews 10:14 says, “For by a single offering he”—that is Jesus—“has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.” That’s really good news. You are reckoned perfect in Christ, even as you continue to grow progressively in conformity to his character. So what should you do? The writer of Hebrews 10 tells us in verses 21 and 22: “Since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience.”

A third possibility is that your conscience needs recalibration. It could be that your standards are actually different from God’s revealed standards. And so your conscience needs to be educated and trained to come in line with what God has said. Paul highlights this possibility in his counsel to the strong and weak in 1 Corinthians 8 and 10 and in Romans 14. This category is really important because no two Christians will have exactly the same conscience parameters, but all of us should be seeking to have our convictions increasingly align with God’s Word. It’s important that we do this in community. So talk with a couple of trusted brothers or sisters. Study the Scriptures together. As Christopher Ash says, there’s a big difference between trampling on your conscience, that is doing something you really believe to be wrong, and educating your conscience. You may well need to do something that still makes you feel uneasy in this recalibration process.

And then lastly, a reason that your conscience may be constantly condemning you is the struggle with scrupulosity or what has been called religious OCD. This is a person who is persistently and insistently seeing sin in their lives when there is no sin. Their lives are marked with frequent and unwanted intrusive, sometimes blasphemous thoughts, that cause the alarm bells of their conscience to ring incessantly. Was my action just now the unpardonable sin? Was I honest enough in my response to my friend’s question? Were my motives pure? How could I have the thought, you love Satan more than God. I don’t. Do I? The experience here is all-pervasive.  Confessing sin doesn’t seem to work for long. Seeking reassurance from others provides no lasting comfort. And they fear that if they don’t listen to their screaming conscience and do something, it’ll become seared, and they’ll be lost forever. It is here in this struggle where what I said earlier about the unreliability of the conscience takes center stage. Now addressing this struggle comprehensively in the short time remaining isn’t possible, but I would point you to other resources on our website that focus specifically on scrupulosity and issues of assurance. I’d also suggest that you seek counsel from a brother or sister who has experience in walking with those who are troubled in this way. Many of the things I said earlier regarding recalibrating or retraining your conscience hold true here, but it’s best to do these things alongside a wise and trusted counselor.