Puberty is uncomfortable for nearly everyone, but it is especially so for the children going through it. Their bodies are changing in unfamiliar ways. They understand getting taller because that’s been happening all along, but this is different. Hair is growing in new places. They suddenly smell different. Their emotions rise and fall with surprising intensity. Voices, faces, and shapes begin to morph. Even ordinary moments like getting dressed, taking a shower, and walking into a room can suddenly feel complicated.
Parents feel the strain, too. Though we love our children deeply, many of us feel unsure about how to talk about bodies, development, privacy, safety, and growing up. We want to be honest without saying too much and clear without sounding clinical. We want to protect our children without making them afraid. And some of us are trying to offer our children something we did not receive ourselves: calm, faithful words about the body. So we feel awkward and wait for the “perfect” time to talk. Or we overexplain. Or we wait until a question, a smell, a mood swing, or a late-night worry forces the conversation. But what if this is the wrong approach? What if the awkwardness is not something to be avoided and is a sign that something meaningful is happening?
Puberty feels strange because children are not only experiencing changes, but they are also trying to make sense of them. They are asking quiet questions, even if they do not say them out loud: Am I normal? Why is this happening now? Do other people notice? Is my body okay? Why isn’t it the same as my friends'? Should I hide this? Can I talk about it?
These questions show us that puberty is more than just a biological process. In a sense, each child is being reshaped, and it’s deeply personal. Their changing bodies can make them feel exposed, uncertain, embarrassed, proud, curious, anxious, or alone—sometimes all in the same day. That is why children need a way to understand what is happening through the kindness and wisdom of God. The God who made them is not distant from this process. He is attentive to every slow, strange, and ordinary change. They need to know that the physical aspects of puberty are part of becoming an adult but are not the whole of it.
Thus, we should be careful not to narrow the scope of puberty conversations to strictly physical matters. Sometimes children are told, directly or indirectly, that puberty mainly matters because it means one day they will be able to become a parent. That is true, but it is not the whole truth. Growing up is more important than reproduction. It includes wisdom, responsibility, courage, compassion, self-control, friendship, work, service, worship, and love of neighbor.
Children need a broader vision of maturity. Scripture gives us a quiet picture of this kind of growth in Jesus. When he was twelve, his parents took him to Jerusalem for the Passover, where he sat in the temple with the teachers, listening and asking questions. After this, Luke tells us that Jesus “increased in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52). It is a simple sentence, but it gives us a fuller picture of his growth. Jesus grew in body, but not only in body. He grew in wisdom, in his relationship with God, and in love toward others.
This gives us a broader context for talking about puberty. When our children enter the awkward years, we should see it as a sign that something good is happening within them. Their bodies are changing, but their awareness is also deepening, and new questions are forming. Their need for guidance is becoming increasingly visible. And we have the privilege of helping them understand what is happening.
They need to hear that becoming a man or a woman is not mainly about dating, romance, marriage, or having children. These things may be part of someone’s future, but they are not the measure of a faithful life. Puberty means their bodies and hearts have begun a long, gradual process of growth, and they need adults who can help them understand it with steadiness and care. In a world filled with images, opinions, and confusion about bodies and what it means to be human, children need repeated reassurance: This is normal. You are not alone. You are still you. Yes, your body is changing; the rest of you is too, and we can talk about all of it together.
So—embrace the awkward. Most of us will stumble a little. We may say too much one day and not enough another. We may blush. We may need to come back and try again. That is alright. What matters is that our children know we are willing to walk with them through what feels strange, vulnerable, and new. Puberty and all its facets cannot be processed in a single talk. It takes a series of small conversations over time. Some will happen in the car. Some at bedtime. Some come after a child asks a question that catches us off guard. Some will be tender, others funny, while most will be a bit clumsy. But each one can communicate something important: You are not alone in your growth. I am here. God is kind. Your body is not shameful; it is part of the embodied life that God has gifted you.
God is up to good things in your child. They are growing in their understanding of themselves and the Lord, in how to ask for help, in their care for others, in practicing wisdom, and in how to see him as their faithful Creator. Our children are becoming who God made them to be. And by God’s grace, we get to walk with them.
