How do I help a friend experiencing ministry burnout?

I love how Jonathan interacts with David in 1 Samuel 23. David is the future king, He has a clear calling and ministry from the Lord, but he’s being hunted by King Saul, who’s the current king. And verse 14 of 1 Samuel 23 says, “Saul sought David every day.” And so David is hiding out in the wilderness and he’s growing weak and discouraged, and Jonathan is presented as a loyal friend in this season of discouragement. So let’s watch what Jonathan does.

First, Jonathan pursues David. In verse 16, Jonathan rose and went to David. And so Jonathan sees David’s situation and he pursues his friend. He doesn’t wait for David to ask. He just goes. And I found that availability is one thing, but pursuit is another. So be proactive. When I was burned out in pastoral ministry, I had a friend who pursued me. We went to lunch, we played Frisbee golf, he took me on a trip through some national parks that I’ll never forget. You might not know what to say or what to do, but you can keep showing up as a friend. And so go to your friend.

Second, Jonathan cares for David’s soul. So in verse 17, he speaks directly to David’s inner turmoil. He says, “Do not fear.” So Jonathan recognizes these deep emotions that are tangled up all inside David, and he speaks to David’s thoughts and his concerns, his burdens, his inner storm. Take the time to learn what your friend is experiencing internally. Draw out what’s going on inside. Spend time together, ask open-ended questions, listen gently, suspend judgment, care for your friend’s soul.

And then we see, third, that Jonathan encourages David. In verse 16, we read that Jonathan strengthened David’s hand in God. And so Jonathan can clearly tell that his friend is beat down and discouraged and running on empty, and he lends David his own faith and his own strength so that David doesn’t give up or give out. And really as you go through life and work your way through Scripture, you’ll see there are a thousand ways to encourage. Some of them are small, some of them are very big. You might pray together, you might take a walk together, you might explore how your friend might be able to lighten their workload or maybe request a sabbatical.

Fourth, Jonathan holds up vital truths in front of David, truths that David has been tempted to forget, because burnout can distort our perspective and our minds can get warped and it can really become hard to imagine a positive future. And so Jonathan reminds David of the promises of God. In verse 17, he says, “You shall be king over Israel.” And then Jonathan also punctures and deflates the lies of discouragement that David is wrestling with. So he gives him positive truths, and then he also punctures these inflated negative things that David is believing. He says to David, “The hand of Saul my father shall not find you.” So he deflates this overinflated fear. He calms David’s frustrations and he really helps put his friend’s cynicism into perspective.

And overall, what we’re witnessing is Jonathan simply being a loyal friend to David. In verse 17, he says, “When you are king, I shall be next to you.” And then in verse 18, the two of them made a covenant before the Lord. And this is a special moment because Jonathan is a mighty warrior himself and he is gladly surrendering his own royal inheritance to his young friend. I can say from personal experience having received this ministry that being a friend to a burned-out minister of the gospel is a sacred calling. And so do your best to stay in touch and to stay alongside, whether your friend ends up continuing on or taking a break or resigning and following Christ into a new calling. Dealing with burnout can be extremely weighty, but one way God shows us his enduring love is through the enduring love of a friend.