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Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

Sex Before Marriage: How Far Is Too Far?

We love each other and are faithful to each other, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having sex before we get married.”

“Isn’t it a good idea to see if we’re sexually compatible before we get married?”

“Don’t make sex before marriage into such a big deal—everyone does it.”

“I’m not going to let other people make me feel guilty just because I don’t buy into their value system.”

Have you ever thought or said things like this? If your answer is yes, you have a lot of company. Most people, at least in some circumstances, think premarital sex is okay. What was once frowned upon is now an accepted part of Western culture, and sex education usually means learning about “safe sex,” and how to take steps to avoid unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. But you have probably noticed that education about “safe sex” hasn’t protected those around you from experiencing hurt and broken relationships as they have experimented sexually. Since God made you and also created sex, why not take the time to look at what he has to say about your sexuality and how it should be expressed? You may be surprised at what you learn.

Christians haven’t always done a very good job talking about sex. Some avoid the topic all together, and others give the impression that sex is somehow inherently degrading and tainted. But God, in the Bible, doesn’t avoid the topic of sex or say that it is bad. Instead, God has a positive view of sex and also specific guidelines about how to express your sexuality. God is not a killjoy—his guidelines for your sexuality are for your help, protection, and good.