How can I trust God when he doesn’t answer my prayers?

I think there's two different ways to understand this question and to approach it with a response that is meaningful. The first way is to take the question as more as a statement, as in, I can't or I don't trust God because he hasn't answered my prayer. I'm actually going to not address it from that angle, but from a different angle. Because another way you can understand this question is, how can I, how actually do I trust God when he's silent, when he hides his face from me and when he isn't answering my prayers?

Now, my guess is for you that there's been deeper, harder prayers, desires, petitions that you've asked of God, that you'd actually give up your life for. something for your spouse, something for your children, whether that's the salvation or the health and healing of a loved one, maybe a best friend, maybe the healing of a disorder, of a psychologically crippling struggle. Maybe it's for the restoration of a relationship that's been broken. that's estranged, or it's for a job that you long to be able to work in, a field that you've always wanted to have as a career, and yet you're not there. Maybe it's for clear direction in your life. You're facing a major life decision, a momentous life decision, and you're longing for him to give you clear guidance. Well, whatever it is, I think it's true that when it seems that God is silent in not responding, his silence and his distance actually becomes a greater difficulty than the problem itself. And the way to trust God, the pathway to growing in faith and in trusting him, is by immersing yourself in lament, and specifically in the psalms of lament. God gives us words to speak to him. He actually speaks for us and speaks to us through the psalms of lament.

Now, it might come as a surprise to you, but over a third of the Psalms are laments. Sixty of the 150 psalms are actually characterized as laments. And what does it say that our God would give his people, would give us 60 prayers, 60 different prayers that are characterized by brutally honest and bold questions, even challenges and complaints, cries that come out of our heart, that are driven by our own suffering and unanswered prayers when God seems to be distant and most absent. Well, essentially the psalms of lament show us how to cry out from a place of deep complaint and protest, even from anguish and perplexity and disorientation. The truth is, it wouldn't be so disorienting if we hadn't previously experienced God as a God who responds, as a God who moves and acts in our lives when we most need him. So it comes out of a place of disorientation and perplexity in a time where you're suffering or a season in life where you're struggling to trust him.

Now, very quickly, when we look at these psalms of laments, it becomes very clear that there are at least five essential qualities of a lament that give us rails to ride on, so to speak, as we're struggling, as we're calling out to the Lord. And the first thing that you see in nearly every single lament is the psalmist crying out, and he starts out by crying out to the Lord with some form of, oh Lord, or oh God, or oh shepherd of my soul, oh shepherd of Israel, where you hear this anguish. And as we start to lament, the first thing is to break the silence. And maybe all you can do at first is to say, oh God, oh God. The second thing that you see in a lament is there's a voicing, a blunt and honest complaint or a protest. Lord, oh God, I'm suffering, I'm struggling, and you're absent. You're not answering. I've been crying out for some time to you and I'm slipping. I need an answer. I don't know how much longer I can wait. I'm in distress. So it's a voicing of a complaint, even a protest against God's silence, his distance that you perceive, that you're experiencing.

And then a third component that's at the heart of all amen is the actual need, is Lord, here's my request, here's my supplication, I really need this. We're seeking God to act, to move his hand and to help us, to rescue us, to deliver us or some loved one. So there's a request at the heart of lament. Then in the very midst of desperation, in every lament, except for in Psalm 88, you see this confidence in some bit of the gospel, something that's true about God, something about what he's done in the past, or something about his covenantal relationship, his devotion, his commitment to his people as a whole and to each one individual of his people. This is the basis of trust for the psalmist who's in the midst of unanswered prayer. There's confidence in who God is in what he's done and in his relationship with his people.

Lastly, almost always you will see in the lament that it ends in praise. There's some kind of certainty that God has heard and he will respond, and the psalmist then breaks forth into genuine praise. Let me take a look at a psalm of lament that typifies this, Psalm 69. I'll just go very quickly through each part. Number one, the address where the psalmist cries out to God. Save me, in verse 1, save me. Oh God. Or it could be translated, oh God, save me. For the waters have come up to my neck. There's a crying out, a breaking of the silence. And then number two, the psalmist puts right out there, a bold complaint, a protest, verse 3, I am weary with my crying out. My throat is parched, my eyes grow, dim with waiting for my God. In other words, Lord, I have asked and I have asked, and I don't hear anything. I don't see any change. I don't see you responding. I don't see you acting. Number three, in verse 13, the heart of the lament is the request at an acceptable time. Oh God, in the abundance of your steadfast love, answer me in your saving faithfulness. Or in verse 16, answer me, oh Lord, for your steadfast love is good, hide not your face from your servant. For I'm in distress, make haste to answer me, draw near to my soul. In other words, I can't do this much longer, I'm running out of time and energy. Fourth, what's the confidence that you see in Psalm 69? In verse 19, Lord, you know, my reproach, my foes, my enemies are all known to you. And then again in 33, listen to the confidence that this psalmist has even in the midst of silence and unanswered prayer. For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners. The confidence that this is who our God is. He does hear, even when we don't hear his response, even though we are waiting and waiting for maybe even years, the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people. Lastly, you hear praise in verse 34. The psalmist says, let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. For God will save Zion and build up the cities of Judah, and people shall dwell there and possess it. Even though the psalmist, nothing's been resolved in this person's life and his community's life, the psalmist says, I will praise you, God, you will act, you will save your people.

Isn't it amazing that the psalms of lament were written down and passed from one generation to the next by saints who went before us, who also suffered greatly and who were troubled, deeply troubled, and even shaken by the fact that God was not answering or helping them, that they experienced his silence and even distance? And the whole purpose of the psalms of lament is that we would grow and develop a deeper trust and a deeper faith in the Lord at those times and at those seasons when we cannot see or hear him.