In this audio talk, Winston Smith argues that pornography use is a serious issue and exists on a spectrum. He addresses those who use pornography regularly and show addictive patterns in it. We misunderstand pornography when we use a “just lust” mentality – the person just wants sex too much (like sugar) and we apply a form of appetite-control for them – this understanding is not enough to help an addict. Pornography is about more than lust – it’s about relationships. Smith covers the messages and meanings of pornographic relationships and how they contrast with biblical sexuality: Pornography communicates a destructive narrative and the sexual acts are always embedded in a storyline. Pornography moves one-flesh relationships toward two-flesh relationships (a private, fantasy world begins to grow). Smith ends with some do’s and don’ts for marriages battling pornography: 1.) For the user of pornography, don’t just try to manage lust – you must broaden the war; and 2.) Commit to maturing in relationships – make a commitment to love other people. For the spouse of the one using pornography: 1.) Engage in a battle of spiritual awareness and don’t get lost in personal hurt – it is a bigger battle and God has purposes for you as well; 2.) Be a supporter, not a cop (accountability vs. responsibility – be part of the early warning system); 3.) Don’t see your spouse as a monster; and 4.) Do be honest about your pain, hurt, fear, and anger.
Key Scriptures: Galatians 5:13-17; Ephesians 5