Educating Your Church

Brad Hambrick: Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused

  • In addition to existing in book form, this training curriculum can also be found as twelve free online video lessons (see Taught by abuse experts, it seeks to teach church leaders (pastors, elders, and ministry or small-group leaders) the best practices for handling a variety of abuse scenarios.

Brad Hambrick: Self-Centered Spouse: Help for Chronically Broken Marriages

  • This booklet looks at principles that Jesus gives us for addressing marriages that are broken by a chronically self-centered spouse.

Bernie Lawrence & Ann Amree Goudzwaard: Help[Her]: A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis

  • This book will help complementarian churches to wisely use and foster the gifts of women for the care of their suffering sisters.

Darby A. Strickland: Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue

  • This minibook summarizes how to detect abuse, explains the heart of an oppressor, and describes first steps to take to help oppressors and the oppressed. It is a short read and is written with church leadership in mind.

Jeremy Pierre and Greg Wilson: When Home Hurts

  • This book guides church leaders in how to deal with domestic abuse in their churches—starting with how they should initially respond when abuse is disclosed and continuing through how they can set up appropriate measures for longer-term care. The authors provide a biblical framework to help readers understand the dynamics of abuse and, more importantly, how to care for a victim, approach an abuser, and communicate with the church at large.

Help for Victims

The Allstate Foundation and National Network to End Domestic Violence

Darby A. Strickland: Domestic Abuse: Help for the Sufferer

  • This minibook, which is written to the sufferer, provides clarity and encouragement. It aims to help victims see that God speaks into their situation, and it offers them steps they can take to begin to get help.

Edward Welch: Shame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection

  • Shame is a particular problem for those who have been abused. This book is a must read for anyone who wants to help bring the gospel to bear on a victim’s struggle with shame.

John Henderson: Abuse: Finding Hope in Christ

  • What does the gospel have to say when we are victims of evil? Psalm 22 provides a framework for responding to this question and for understanding how God comforts the afflicted.

Joy Forrest: Called to Peace: A Survivor's Guide to Finding Peace and Healing After Domestic Abuse

  • This book is both an autobiography and a guide for victims of domestic abuse. With knowledge and compassion, Joy points her readers to Christ—the ultimate source of true wholeness and healing. Her story is one of physical abuse and will resonate with victims. More online resources and victim-advocate training are available from Joy at

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb: Is It My Fault? Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence

  • Written tenderly to victims, this book speaks the gospel of grace into their hearts and situations while helping them consider steps they can take.

Leslie Vernick: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope

  • This book deals primarily with emotional abuse. Vernick helps her readers assess the presence of emotionally abusive behaviors and gives them practical advice on how to respond to these behaviors in light of biblical teaching.

National Network to End Domestic Violence

  • This free app will help victims to document occurrences and evidence of abuse. Learn more here.

"View the Instrument." The Danger Assessment (Johns Hopkins School of Nursing)

  • The Domestic Violence Danger Assessment Tool will help you to determine whether, and identify when, a victim’s life is in danger. Learn more here.

Helping Those Who Oppress

Chris Moles: The Heart of Domestic Abuse: Gospel Solutions for Men Who Use Control and Violence in the Home

  • A brilliant book by a pastor, biblical counselor, and batterer intervention specialist on how to bring oppressors in the church to repentance.

Observation: Domestic Abuse; 9-Video Case Series

  • Learn how to confront abusive people and respond to them with the heart of Christ by watching a counseling session along with teaching sessions. Available here.

Phil Ryken: Loving the Way Jesus Loves

  • This book can help the reader to set before an oppressor the way in which he is called to love others as Jesus does.

Timothy Witmer: The Shepherd Leader at Home: Knowing, Leading, Protecting, and Providing for Your Family

  • This book will help men to recast a vision for what it means to be a husband and father. It is filled with practical instructions for husbands on how to model Jesus’s servant love.

Abuse and Children

Cathy Humpherys, Ravi Thiara, Agnes Skamballis, and Audrey Mullender: Talking about Domestic Abuse: A Photo Activity Workbook to Develop Communication between Mothers and Young People

  • This secular resource is a photocopiable activity workbook to use with older children and teens that will support them and help them to recover from living in homes where domestic abuse has occurred.

Lundy Bancroft: When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

  • This secular book shows mothers how abusive men tend to act as parents and how they can help support their children.

Child Abuse Prevention

Natasha Daniels: “10 Ways to Teach Your Child the Skills to Prevent Sexual Abuse”

  • Using a commonsense approach, this secular resource tells parents which skills they should teach their children to help prevent them from becoming victims of sexual abuse. Find it here.

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb: God Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their Bodies

  • Parents can use this book to teach their younger children about God’s design for their bodies and about what is appropriate and inappropriate touch. A great tool for abuse prevention.

Gavin De Becker: Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane)

  • This well-researched and practical secular book teaches how children can stay safe outside the home, how you can notice warning signs of sexual abuse, and how you can talk to your children about risks without frightening them.


Deepak Reju: She’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle

  • This book is not about abuse prevention, but it gives Christian women wisdom on how to assess their relationships and wait for the one who will be a blessing.

Counseling and Research

Bradford W. Wilcox: Soft Patriarchs, New Men: How Christianity Shapes Fathers and Husbands

  • This book dives into research that explores the worldviews of Christian and non-Christian men. It seeks to carefully understand and wisely interact with the oversimplistic characterizations of conservative Christians in the area of abuse.

Diane Langberg: Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores

  • After forty years of counseling trauma survivors, Dr. Langberg teaches us how to help victims heal by revealing to them the heart of God while focusing on Christ’s restoration for his people.

Lundy Bancroft: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

  • For years, this has been the go-to secular book on abusive men. Lundy Bancroft, who works extensively with abusive men, shares his insight into what drives them and how they operate.

Nancy Nason-Clark, Barbara Fisher-Townsend, Catherine Holtmann, and Stephen McMullin: Religion and Intimate Partner Violence: Understanding the Challenges and Proposing Solutions

  • This book was written after twenty-five years of academic research on domestic violence in religious families and emphasizes what religious leaders can do to help. This book speaks to victims/survivors, abusers, congregations, training religious leaders, and collaborative community.