In this episode, CCEF faculty explore the topic of life transitions, sharing personal stories and insights on common struggles, temptations, and opportunities that arise during these changes. They discuss the importance of recognizing God's presence and providence through both big and small changes, and they share some encouragements they've found in Scripture.

Mentioned in this episode: We're excited about the recent release of a handful of books from CCEF faculty:

• When It’s Trauma: A Biblical Guide to Understanding Trauma & Walking Faithfully with Sufferers | Book by Darby Strickland
• A Big Change Happened: Helping Children Through Upheaval | Children's book by Darby Strickland
• Helping Your Children with Change: Holding Fast to God During Upheaval | Minibook by Darby Strickland
• Take Heart for Teens: Daily Devotions to Deepen Your Faith | Book by David Powlison

00:00 Introduction & New CCEF Books
01:46 Personal Stories of Transition
09:02 Common Struggles Amid Transitions
13:47 Common Temptations Amid Transitions
19:02 Opportunities Amid Transition
24:08 Scriptural Encouragements for Transition

Hello and welcome to our CCEF podcast, Where Life and Scripture Meet. My name is Gunner Gundersen and I serve as the Dean of Faculty at CCEF. And I’m here with my colleagues, Esther Liu and Darby Strickland, both faculty members with CCEF. And we’re just thankful that you’ve joined us for this conversation. As we begin, we are excited to announce a few recent books from CCEF authors. And I’d like to tell you about four of them. One of them is a book by Darby titled When It’s Trauma. And this is a comprehensive guide to recognizing signs of trauma and walking alongside sufferers in a way that’s informed, a way that’s helpful, a way that is Christ-centered. Another resource written by Darby is a children’s book that’s titled A Big Change Happened. This book is really designed to walk children through big changes and the questions that can come with those changes. There is also a companion minibook that Darby’s written called Helping Your Children with Change. And this book provides parents and caregivers with biblical encouragement and practical tools that can support children through those big life changes. And then the last book that I want to mention is called Take Heart for Teens. This is a 366-day devotional that helps readers grow a deeper and a stronger faith by just learning to take their real troubles to the Lord. And these devotionals are taken from David Powlison’s many years of writing and speaking. You can find all these books and more through www.ccef.org/book. That’s ccef.org/book.

Our topic for today is one that we deal with pretty consistently in life. We all know people who are facing this opportunity or challenge. We ourselves do at various times. It’s something that’s guaranteed as we go through life that we’re going to need to navigate, and that is transition, navigating transition. What we’d like to talk about today is personal life transitions, which can cover a lot of different categories, which some of which we’ll touch on as we go, but personal life transitions, how do we navigate those? I’ll just start with sharing briefly a story of significant transition in my life. I remember a number of years back in 2010, we left Southern California where I had been, I attended a Christian college and then I had attended a seminary and I had been working there, living there for a total of 12 years. And so on campus, I was kind of a veteran. I knew everyone, I knew the way things worked, I knew the rhythms. We had a lot of friends, a lot of colleagues, a lot of alumni around. We were just established really in every way. And then the Lord called us to move out to Louisville, Kentucky, for the final stage of my education. And we picked up and moved across country and I took on a new job in ministry. We searched for a new church. We needed to put roots down with our family. And the thing I remember that really stood out to me was for about the first six months at least, probably six to 12 months, that feeling of being a complete rookie at work in particular. I had really gained a lot of experience where I was before and I had a certain reputation, I had a certain way of relating to people, I knew the job that I did and what it took, what the challenges were. And all of a sudden I was just thrown in this position where I just didn’t know things, I didn’t know people, I had questions about the culture and how things work and how to engage in the right way. I felt like a lot of experiences that I had or even gifts that I had been used to using before were kind of on the shelf. They were unknown, they were unaccessed, I wasn’t sure even how to apply them myself. And that time was really significant because I realized that so many secondary identities had kind of been stripped away from me. And I had to consciously remember my primary identity in Christ and begin to live out of that in a way consciously that maybe I had had kind of layered over by all these secondary identities that were very established in Southern California. I’m really grateful for that time because of what I learned, but it was definitely challenging as we went along. Those are the kinds of things, and many others, that we’d like to talk about as we think about life transition. How about for you all? Are there specific, maybe an occasion or occasions you can think back on where you went through some sort of life transition and what that was like for you?

I think what’s interesting about some transitions is they kind of sneak up on you. I mean, you’re talking about you, the change was coming, you’re packing boxes, you’re moving. I think back, the last time our conference was in Hershey, Pennsylvania, actually, I got in our minivan to drive home and halfway there, my minivan broke down. And I left it, called my husband, he picked me up. We left it someplace random, some dealer. And like two days later, we got a call saying, it’s not really repairable. And what that was was so many memories were in the minivan. I’m choking up thinking about it. But that transition from having kids at home, a lot of activities, car trips, just so many good memories. And all of a sudden I was realizing I don’t really need a minivan anymore. My kids are getting bigger. So many big things were symbolic about changing a car. It signified so many changes that were happening in our home I don’t even realize were happening. Sso sometimes I think about like I’m shepherding my children through changes in their lives. Oftentimes as a parent, I’m often caught off guard. Like, oh wow, this means that. So yeah, I’m getting, I’m a very sentimental person, so excuse my emotion about it. But so much went in, so much symbolism in my life went into the fact that I no longer need a minivan. Yeah, so transitions are not easy for me, obviously.

Thanks for sharing that Darby. That actually reminded me of when we took our oldest son to drop him off in college. We all drove together in a couple vehicles—his, but then our minivan that we had had for many many years that our kids had grown up in. And ours broke down on the highway near Dixon, Tennessee. And I remember us all being outside the vehicles on the highway, folks going by 80 miles an hour, we get it up to the mechanic in this little town, and long story short, they tell us that it’s, you know, it’s not worth fixing. It was very old, had 225,000 miles on it. And we literally took a selfie in front of our family van and left it there in Dixon, Tennessee. And I had to get it salvaged there. And it was a really substantial moment because of that same kind of transition and realizing how many things were tied to this. And I really appreciate you sharing that story.

It does help highlight, yeah, when we do think of transitions or hear that word, we may think of all the big momentous graduation and moving and all of this stuff. And yet there is a way in which we get attached to these smaller things that, like you said, are symbolic of so many memories and so many things, and there’s so much sentimental value in it. And those things sometimes are the hardest for there to be a transition or a change. Those things sometimes can be the hardest to part with because it meant so much to us. And a lot of times while we had it, we didn’t even realize how much it would mean to us until we realized, oh my gosh, this is no longer going to be in my life. And so I do think that’s a huge category of change and transition that probably all of us in some shape or form have needed to navigate. And it can be really heart-wrenching. So I appreciate that vignette and how much It reminds me of the big and small changes that the Lord has asked each of us to navigate.

Because there’s always change, right? Even when you go to the grocery store, I mean it sounds silly, but you can go grocery shopping and you’re looking for your favorite regular brand of something and it’s no longer carried there. It’s just, so not being able to access something that’s familiar just takes more energy. Now I have to make a replacement, right? I have to research something else. And yeah, I mean, having moved across the country when I was 10, that was certainly the most formative, changing kind of different subcultures of the United States, trying a new school, that was a real change that was really hard and devastating. I just find that it’s the little ones—there’s so many of them, we sometimes miss them and their impacts on us as well.

Yeah, absolutely.

What do you think are some common struggles in the midst of transition?

For me, there’s a lot of sadness with transitions. Like, yeah, what I was saying earlier of I easily get attached to things. And so when there’s kind of an invitation or a need to say this is no longer going to be in my life moving forward, there’s a way in which there’s a lot of sadness, a lot of grief, a sense of loss, a sense of I’m not ready to say goodbye to this.

Some people will know that, or it’s commonly known amongst certain people at CCEF, that we had a movie night as CCEF counseling interns. I was an intern that year and we watched Inside Out, the first one. And I probably shouldn’t even spoil this, but there is a scene where one of the characters gets lost in kind of this cave-type thing. If you’ve watched the movie, maybe you’ll remember the scene without me necessarily giving it away. There’s a sense of this childhood friend that is so precious is now getting lost in this cave and is no longer going to be, because it’s a cave where memories kind of dissolve or get lost. And I remember sobbing in that scene because it resonated so deeply with different life experiences I’ve had where I’m like, this has been really important to me, this means a lot to me, and I’m not ready to say goodbye. And so I think with changes and transitions, there can be a lot of grief, a lot of sadness, and even a lot of resistance of, if I could choose, I would want to keep this, I would want things to stay the same. And yet life is moving on and things are playing out in a way that I do have to say goodbye to this, I do have to walk away from this. So, yeah, I feel like that’s been a common struggle for me when it comes to change. I resist it, and I get really sad when God calls me to part ways.

It’s tricky because even good change can feel disorienting, right? And even displace you. I think a couple of years ago, we bought a new home and it’s really just been a lovely place to live. It was just a blessing from the Lord, the home that he gave us. And yet with that came so many changes, having to change churches. And so while it was something good, there were all these unintentional effects of, yeah, my friend group, church group, just regular routines of going to the local bookstore or the library, knowing the librarian. So even when something is good, there can be struggles or things that we’re missing and we often can feel guilty, like I’ve been blessed, so I should be happy or I should be excited or I should be thankful. So sometimes there’s a sense of guilt because we’re missing when the change is good. Even getting married, I remember being newly married, there was a lot of changes and just feeling like, well, why is this so hard, even though everything was so good? And that can just feel disorienting that we’re lamenting even in seasons of blessing.

Yeah, there can be, you know, chosen change and unchosen change. There can be big change, there can be small change, and you know, there’s change that seems like one thing and then changes that are very obviously a bunch of things at once. And so there’s just so much to this topic, I think. And as you said, Darby, with the illustration of the van, you could look at that from an outsider’s perspective and think it’s a van, but like in other words, it’s one thing. It’s significant, but it’s one thing. But it’s not just one thing. It represents so many other things that are significant and almost an endless list of things and how they relate to your life and your family and things that are incredibly meaningful. And not only from personal experience—meaningful in the Lord’s arrangement of what he said life is and what’s beautiful and what’s good and what we put our time to and what blesses us in these relationships. So it’s just striking to think through how one thing that’s big or a small thing that’s just one thing can mean so much more. And that I’m sure has some explanatory power for why we can feel the way we feel when there are these changes.

Yeah, it wasn’t the Honda that I was missing, right? It was that motherhood was changing.

In some of these just stresses, challenges, kind of griefs of transition, what are maybe some additional challenges that we might face or temptations that we might face in the midst of that?

I think just the temptation to take charge or take control or try to set things in order, right? When things destabilize, sometimes we want to create stability and how we go about that when things are unpredictable. Sometimes we want to make them as predictable as possible. And we can do that in a way that our hands are open to what the Lord’s doing it or with what he’s doing, or we can do it in a way where our uncomfortability leads us to kind of take control. And that I think puts, we miss a lot of blessings, we miss being dependent upon the Lord when we decide we need to take over.

I think related to that one, I think of maybe in particular job transitions, new position, new role, but I think it’s relevant to other categories as well. The temptation to feel a lot of pressure to get settled in, so maybe that does dovetail a bit, Darby, with what you were saying. There can be a lot of pressure to acclimate, adjust quickly, to figure out how to do things. Just the immense guilt of, I feel like I should be learning faster, I should be adjusting faster. I still remember a story of someone who was new to this area and she had expressed the frustration that she felt towards herself that she still didn’t know how to get to the grocery store without GPS, because she had just moved here. And so yeah, there’s kind of this competency pressure in the midst of transition that sometimes I’ve certainly faced and I know others have faced of, I should be further along in acclimating to this transition than I am, rather than giving room to say, this is going to be a process of adjusting to this new normal. This is going to be a season where there’s grace and compassion that you’re still very much a learner, that you don’t have it all figured out, that it’s not all smooth sailing, but that it’s going to be clunky, rocky, hard, just a bit of a process of adjusting. So I feel like that’s one of those temptations is to feel a lot of pressure, put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be further along than we are.

I think there are some, too, kind of ambitious types that really want to be moving forward all the time. They want to be building something, they want to be active, and there can be this sense of frustration that they’re not able to accomplish what they want. And I’ve seen in transition often realizing that I’m surprised how long everything takes. It just feels like if I really stop and think about it, the smallest thing just takes longer because I’m not used to it, I have to take extra steps, I have to do some research, I have to ask someone, I have to figure something out that before was like presumed. I just didn’t have to think about those things anymore. So much was operating, if you will, on autopilot in terms of the area that I was in or some of the relationships that I had that I could just delve into the deeper, more meaningful things that I wanted to enjoy. And then in transition, when things are new, maybe two words that come to mind are kind of scrambled and scrambling, meaning so much of my life and inner map has been scrambled and I’m in this new place and so disoriented and therefore it feels like I’m scrambling because each thing just takes more and it takes more out of me. I’ve found too just energy levels can be significantly different sometimes a little ways into a transition because of all that extra work that’s being done to figure things out and to try to put roots down and also navigate some of the grief, whether I’m aware that it’s grief or I’m not really aware that it’s grief of what I’m missing and what I’ve set aside willingly, or maybe what has been kind of taken from me through this transition. So those are at least some things that I know I’ve seen through different transitions that God has taken us through.

It’s fascinating, like as we’re talking about this, it’s just a temptation, I think, Esther, you were saying, is to judge ourselves. It’s like that we believe we should be performing or proficient versus just accepting that we’re always learners. God is always calling us to something new. And really it’s just the patience with ourselves to actually be present, to be participating in our lives and to be open to learning something new. And that’s just a gentle way of reframing instead of I have to perform, right? It’s like I need to have the energy and the dedication to learn something new. It’s just less, there’s less of a value judgment on yourself if you just go through a transition of saying, this is a time where I’m gonna be stretched, where I’m gonna be learning. And that means more of me and more of my energy is gonna be required.

What are some opportunities, Darby, you’re touching on this now, but what are some opportunities that God is graciously giving to us in the midst of transition, in the midst of these changes, in the midst of even some of the challenges and temptations that come along with these changes? What are some of the opportunities that he’s graciously giving to us and putting in front of us?

I think it gives us the opportunity for us to notice him at work. Because if we’re fumbling, if we’re uncertain, if everything’s unsteady, my eyes are more attuned to, yeah, what did God, how did God intervene in my day? How did he help me? I’m definitely more prayerful as I’m walking into a new social situation or a new work situation. I’m more dependent, but I’m also noticing the small mercies that he gave me throughout the day, you know, recalling somebody’s name, you know, the fact that he would recall that name for me, or giving me, yeah, grace in a conversation with someone I didn’t know very well. I’m just more aware of what he’s up to when I’m not, when I’m recognizing it isn’t, I’m not relying on myself, I’m much more relying on him.

Along those lines, I feel like going through seasons of transition and change have opened my eyes to two things about God. One thing that change has opened my eyes to is God’s wisdom. I feel like I’ve learned more of God’s wisdom having gone through change than I would otherwise. As I alluded to earlier, I’m someone who resists change and will cling to what I’m attached to and what is, rather than embrace differences and newness. But when I look back, I feel like some of the changes that were the most unwanted in my life and unchosen in my life actually became pathways of goodness that I would have never been able to experience otherwise. That all this that I was clinging to in the past, that I was closed off to the blessings that awaited me on the other side of that change and transition. So there are ways that it’s humbled me that, you know, if I could have chosen, I would have never moved when I was in middle school. And yet moving in middle school ended up being a huge part of my testimony of coming to Christ. And all these things that I’ve grieved and not wanted, there are ways in which God opened my eyes. So it dovetails with the second thing that feel like I’ve learned about God having had to face change and transition, is that he really is generous. And there are times in transition that I question God. And I look at all the things that he took away from me from that previous season, all those good things that I wish I still had, and really doubted his ability to ever kind of replace that or take away the hole in my heart from that loss. And yet just the beautiful ways it’s not, it didn’t end up being a replacement, like a one-to-one of like, that’s lost and now I have this good stuff and that totally takes away the pain of the loss from the previous season. But there is a way in which his goodness really did meaningfully and beautifully show up in that new season in ways that really shaped me and ways that really formed me and ways that really blessed me. And I’m thankful for those things. And so I feel like those are two strands of God’s character that have really shined even brighter in my life because of the presence of change.

I see some of the same things, Esther, as I’ve looked back at different changes in my life. God’s providence has been on such display during those times of change, and maybe more specifically after. I think often I’ve found what I’m really wanting is to arrive at some sort of elevated vista from which I can look forward and see what God is going to do in the specifics of my life, and he just doesn’t provide that. But what I often do get at various points is some sort of kind of small elevated vista on the journey where I look back and I can see how he was with me, with my loved ones, how he was at work, what some of the meaning of some of the twists and turns were, not by any means in a comprehensive way where I see everything that God was doing, but just getting glimpses of it and getting glimpses of his faithfulness and what he’s been doing. And slowly but surely he’s used that to chip away at the little faith that I so easily have and just to expand on that faith and to grow it and develop it. And I continue to see his providence in so many ways and just like the transitions and the challenges in them, I see his providence in some ways that are big and then in others ways that are small. And as these ways that seem small compile and I see how they’re threaded together into this developing tapestry, it really encouraged me for what he’s gonna continue to do in time to come.

Could we talk a little bit about any specific Scriptures, doctrines, truths, spiritual realities that are just helpful, that are encouraging, maybe expanding on something we’ve already said or maybe something that would be new to the conversation. Anything that stands out to you when you think through how the Lord sustains us and encourages us through his truth?

Yeah, what naturally comes to mind for me is the children’s book, A Big Change Happened. I use Psalm 139 in that book because I think it just speaks so well to the fact that God is always with us. He sees us, he surrounds us, but he also is the Author of our story. He shapes our stories. And so that psalm’s just been a sweet comfort to me no matter where I go, no matter what’s on my heart, no matter where he’s sending me, he is up to something. And I just think that’s just, it’s not even just that he’s with me, but also that he’s shaping the story has just been a sweet comfort to me. And just to the ability to kind of relax into what he is doing. That’s just been really helpful when I’ve been called to go some places I haven’t really wanted to go and to do some things that I just am really questioning what the Lord’s up to. And I just have to remember, no, I have a Savior who’s always with me. He promises to be always with me, but he’s taking me places for his glory and my good and pushing me in places for his glory and my good. And that’s just been a sweet comfort in innumerable situations.

Yeah, I love Psalm 139 as well. I’m thinking through some of this. There’s a, yeah, there is something so destabilizing and scary sometimes in change, and the comfort of Psalm 139 is it essentially conveys a sense of no matter what and no matter where you may find yourself, I’m there, I’m with you. And there’s just something so reassuring about how comprehensive that promise is in Psalm 139. It’s like you could go all the way up there, all the way down there, here, no matter where, no matter what, even there, he’ll be there, even there, his hand will guide. And so there is something so sweet about the constancy of our Lord in the midst of the constancy of change in our lives, that there is a foundation to stand on. There is an assurance. There is a steadiness in the Lord’s care and love when change feels very unsteady. And I feel like another psalm that comes to mind that’s been comforting is thinking of Psalm 121 and how much, there are so many glorious promises there, but the last verse essentially says and conveys and expresses how the Lord is our keeper and he keeps our coming in and our going out from this time forth and forevermore. And the beauty of, wow, life feels so maybe chaotic. Life feels so out of my control. I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel like there’s so much to learn. I feel so inexperienced. I feel so disconnected. And yet he keeps me in the midst of that. He’s my keeper in the midst of that. I just have found that to be such a sweet reassurance in the midst of all the chaos and heartache that transitions can bring.

As I’ve thought about this topic, I was reminded of how much significant change in transition is laced through all of Scripture, and when I think about specific books of the Bible, so many of them are written and are addressing substantial change, if not like tectonic seismic change in the life of God’s people. And if I just go through some of the basic background elements of different books, they’re just constantly addressing substantial change. And it’s all kinds of different changes, but they’re just constantly addressing the challenges of change, the realities of change, and then reminding us of the faithfulness of our covenant God in the midst of that. And so, I almost see these twin things going on throughout Scripture. One is the constantly changing nature of the human experience and all of the turmoil that that produces. And then the second is just the faithfulness and consistency and immutability of God’s character in the midst of that. And it’s striking that that’s exactly what my life is like personally, the constancy of change and yet the constancy of God’s unchangeability. And it just made me so thankful to think through how that faithfulness has so pervaded the lives of all of my spiritual ancestors and how it will be mine for the future too.

God’s kind of cued us in, right? We’re born as little infants and every day of our lives our bodies are changing, right? Until the day we go home. And he’s put us on this planet where every day the weather is different, the seasons are different, the sunlight comes in your windows different, and still somehow change can be surprising for us. Yeah, I just kind of marvel at how he’s actually fashioned us, and yet at the same time, he’s made himself, revealed himself to be the one thing in our world, in our lives, in our hearts that does not change. But I just marvel about how we still, we still don’t always get it, even though it’s so obvious.

Would we each choose one maybe verse of Scripture or statement or some phrase or theme from the Lord’s words to us that would be an encouragement to someone who may be going through transition or something that might have been particularly precious to you as you’ve gone through transitions? What would one of those words be?

The thing that pops into my mind is just the first verse of Psalm 23. You know, the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. And it just encapsulates two really good truths for me: that he is going to help me through this, and there’s nothing that I require that he will not provide. And it’s just so simple, but often in situations those two sentences pop into my head. They’re just really orienting. He’s going to help me through this, and whatever I need, he’s going to make it possible.

My mind is immediately going to Revelation 21:4, the first part where it says he will wipe away every tear from their eyes. I know that there are people who are going through transitions that do bring a lot of sadness and grief, a deep sense of loss and missing what once was and no longer is, facing the uncertainty of a future without something that was really important and precious to them. And yet the certainty of the promise that I don’t know how this is all going to work out in the short term. I don’t know what the Lord has in the short term. And yet the certainty of the promise that there will be one day where he will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and whatever loss we are enduring and feeling, he sees, knows, and one day it will be made beautiful and made right.

Thanks to both of you. I would just share Joshua 1:5, where God promises Joshua as the new leader going into a very intimidating environment in the midst of tremendous transition with God’s people and on their mission. He says, just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you.

Thanks so much for this conversation. I’m really grateful to get to talk with you both about navigating transition and especially here at the end to reflect on the Lord’s faithfulness to us.