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Six Basic Struggles

by Ed Welch

Most people would acknowledge at least six basic struggles.

  1. Anger
  2. Guilt and regret
  3. Shame
  4. Suffering, such as loss, victimization, sickness . . .
  5. Fear
  6. Saying “yes” when we should say “no”—this would include everything identified as an addiction

Sin doesn’t make the list because it is not naturally acknowledged by all humanity. Though most people can acknowledge wrongdoing, not everyone believes their wrong is against God.

Consider the list for a moment. To make the cut, the problems should be identified in the early chapters of Genesis (at least in their nascent form), and they should be carried through the rest of Scripture. For example, the experience of saying “yes” when we should say “no” is central to the fall. We were told to avoid one particular tree, and somehow, what was forbidden became a deadly lure. The remainder of Scripture teaches us to correctly identify what is right and wrong, so that with Christ’s help, we can act on that growing discernment.

Would you agree that these six are part of everyday life for most people? If so, you will want to envision how to equip your congregants to bring these matters to Scripture and to Jesus. From there, your church can move out and be helpful to others.

With this in mind, what might you aim for? Here are some ideas.

That everyone who attends will be able to identify that these six are, indeed, their struggles.
That everyone will be familiar with at least one text that draws them into Scripture for each problem.
That together, the church will be able to talk openly about these things, be eager to ask for help, and pray for each other.

An interesting feature of these six problems is that they are the constituent parts of more complicated human struggles. Depression, for example, is certainly a form of suffering. It often has a physical contribution, yet depressed people are human beings who also struggle with fear, guilt, anger and shame, and these can all intensify the experience of depression. Or consider anorexia. Guilt, shame, fear and even anger are frequent building blocks of the anorectic experience. The more you know someone, the more you discover that our struggles are more alike than different.

In the coming months, we will move through these six topics and we welcome your questions about them.

Coming soon
 

 
 

Coming soon
 
 

Coming soon
 
 

Guilt and Its Associates

by Ed Welch

We have been considering problems that harass all of humanity, including the people in your church. The plan is to address six areas: anger, suffering and victimization, guilt, fears and anxiety, desiring more, and shame. Guilt is up next.

The challenge is that guilt seems unpopular and less common. As a counselor, I cannot remember the last time someone wanted to meet with me because of the weight of guilt. As preachers, sermons that focus on sin and judicial images such as justification feel less relevant to people who are, for the most part, more familiar with shame, victimization and brokenness than guilt. So, an important part of pastoral care is to find guilt and rehabilitate its reputation.

What is guilt? Guilt indicates that we have sinned against God. It can be aided by the law of God and the conscience. For many of us, it isn’t hard to find. Our wrongness is a palpable presence. We know we can behave badly and we know God knows it. Yet, even then, we might not have a sense that our offense is against God. How many times have I sinned against my wife, and confessed my sin to her, but didn’t confess it to the Lord? I know what I did was against her, but it doesn’t always feel personally against God.

This is the very nature of sin—we can usually identify how it disrupts the relationship with the person in front of us, but we are blind to how it is also against God. Scripture, therefore, helps us to see. The simple principle is that our relationships with others reveal our relationship with the Lord. If you wrong another person, you are being unfaithful to the Lord (Num 5:6). When you complain, even against no one in particular, you are holding the Lord in contempt (Num 14:11). In other words, if you cannot easily name your sin and guilt, consider your recent relationship problems and expressions of anger. There you will find a heart that, at least temporarily, has turned away from the Lord and pursued other gods. Perhaps our decreased awareness of guilt comes, in part, from thinking that sin is only when we consciously reject God. The truth, of course, is that whenever we violate his law, we are rejecting his name and his honor.

Guilt is good. Guilt is good because it helps us to see our sin. I have an orthodox friend who often objects to the emphasis on sin in some churches. Grace and mercy, he says, are the keynotes of the gospel. This is certainly true, but forgiveness of sins is the frequent summary of, or at least the entrance into, the grace of Christ, and our present battle with sin is a result of being freed from sin’s dominion. Our alertness to grace and mercy is dependent upon sin and guilt having a high profile in our lives.

Sin is not good—yet guilt joined with the message of grace is stunning. Indeed, one of the evidences of the Spirit at work in us is conviction. Guilt, after we have come to Christ, is evidence that we are spiritually alive. But it can be complicated. There are at least two ways that guilt becomes untethered from God’s grace. One is that we wither under Satan’s accusations of guilt. Satan tempts us with lies that God is not that good and sin is not that bad. Then, when we sin, he is right there to say that our sin is exceedingly bad and forgiveness is out of the question (Zech 3:1-2), and we are prone to believe him.

A second way that misery rather than mercy attaches to guilt is when we drift into legalism or works righteousness. Instead of resting in God and his grace to us, we invent our own system of reparations that we can do to appease God, such as:

Put a little more in the offering basket.
Endure a season of feeling really bad for what you did.
Turn from God’s presence until you can act more worthy.
Make a pledge that you will do better next time.

These are all variations of legalism. They are religious-sounding but malicious. They suggest that God’s forgiveness is less than lavish and that we can atone for our sins.

Guilt coupled with satanic accusation or legalistic self-effort is death. Guilt coupled with the one-time sacrifice of Christ on our behalf, and guilt coupled with daily confession and foot-cleansing (John 13:10), is fullness of life.

Guilt, regret and other associates. In its pristine form, guilt says, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight” (Ps 51:4). Then it turns to the Lord for mercy and receives it. When corrupted, guilt is linked to satanic accusations and legalism. But guilt has other associates as well.

Regret could be an indicator of sin and guilt that can’t seem to get out from under satanic accusation. But it can also be mere sadness and grief, and the wish that we could have done more in a past tragedy, as in “if only I had . . .”

Shame, too, gets inaccurately folded into guilt. Shame can be from sin, though more often it is the etchings of sins done against us. It shares the feeling of uncleanliness with guilt, but the causes are different.

A sense of failure can also act like guilt. The failure might have nothing to do with God’s laws. Perhaps it comes from familial or cultural rules for success.

Each of these will not be fully moved by preaching on guilt and justification in Christ by faith. This preaching is for us all, and we always need to hear it, but in order to speak to the hearts of our people we will either extend the boundaries of justification beyond the image of judge and accused, or draw out other ways of approaching some of these experiences that mimic guilt (e.g., adoption, union with Christ, hope in God’s sovereign control).

Guilt is not a human experience that waxes and wanes through history. Though it might take some work to truly uncover it, guilt is part of our humanity and can be the power behind some of the other problems we are addressing in this series like fear, anxiety and even anger. Careful preaching and pastoral care will draw it out, create a place in which guilt can be openly discussed, identify some of its complexities, and lead others in thanks for how God has spoken to the depths of human experience in Christ.


¹If you want to read one book on legalism, consider The Whole Christ: Legalism, Antinomianism, and Gospel Assurance—Why the Marrow Controversy Still Matters by Sinclair Ferguson

Burnout and Stress

by Ed Welch

Burnout suggests that the flame is flickering and there is no stoking the fire this time. You have nothing left to give. Stress comes to us by way of engineering. The building is under too much weight; there is too much pressure, and fractures are beginning to appear. You have too much to do, what you do is substandard, and you can’t do it all. Something has to give or … you don’t know exactly what will happen but you know it will be bad.

Burnout and stress are recurring pastoral maladies but lately they are getting more attention. A recent example is David Murray’s fine book, Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture. He makes the case for more sleep, a real Sabbath, limits on social connectivity, and many other important matters—all in a clear and biblically persuasive structure. We recommend it. What follows is an occasion for you to consider this topic yet again. It should always be on your personal agenda.

Here are some ways to locate it.

  • When do you feel like quitting?
  • Do you feel as if most of your work and ministry gets a barely passing grade? Do you ever feel hollow? Do you ever feel like a fraud? Do you think that others have it together but you don’t?
  • How often do you start your morning with “I just can’t do it all today”?
  • Are interpersonal conflicts part of your daily life—tensions at home, infighting at church, divisions in the staff, relentless critiques of your preaching or ministry? Who can bear up under such things?

We could quickly identify a long list of potential contributions to burnout and stress—our own sins, the impossible expectations of others, inadequate finances, and the sheer burden of caring for so many souls. Our goal, though, is not simply to say “no” more often and keep our anxieties in check. Those help, but we want more. What we hope to do is grow—grow in mature, child-like dependence on the Lord, grow in asking for help and prayer, grow in love that can weather conflicts. We hope to grow in wisdom expressed as an ordered life, in humility before God and others.

 

 

Six Free Articles from CCEF’s Journal of Biblical Counseling

This package of articles, all of which were written by CCEF faculty, will serve as a foundation. If you are new to biblical counseling, these will help you to get oriented and if you are not new, perhaps you will find something here you have not considered before. The six articles are:

  1. “The Pastor as Counselor” by David Powlison. David makes the case that pastors counsel by virtue of their daily interaction with their congregation. He describes that counsel and contrasts it with the modern psychotherapies.
  2. “Understanding the Influences on the Human Heart” by Mike Emlet. This article provides a theological guide that identifies how things both come out of the heart and come at the heart. Too often we can miss critical influences that shape the person we want to help. The result is that people go unheard and we miss opportunities to offer God’s care and compassion.
  3. “How Does Scripture Change You?” by David Powlison. This piece has progressive sanctification in view, which is a key doctrine in biblical counseling. No quick fixes, nothing simplistic, but the Spirit through the Word really does change us.
  4. “How to Talk with Someone about Sin” by Ed Welch. This article considers how sin is hard to talk about—especially among friends and family. Welch offers some guidelines for all of us.
  5. “Counseling is the Church” by David Powlison. This article will get you thinking about the place of pastoral care and counsel in your denomination and ordination process. In order to grow in our care of souls, we too must grow, yet certain institutional traditions must also be refined.
  6. “Ten Questions to Ask before Starting a Counseling Ministry in Your Church” by David Powlison. As the title implies, this article offers guiding questions for churches to consider when discussing a possible counseling ministry. You might be surprised that he is not necessarily advocating that such a ministry be the goal for your church.

These articles will help answer the question: What is biblical counseling? We know that in some ways, even using the word counseling is cumbersome because it suggests something professional and scheduled—just for the experts. But we think of biblical counseling as wise conversations in which we join the daily struggles of life with the many words and promises of God that are fulfilled in Jesus Christ. For you who work in the church, it is what you do every day.

The articles are available below and will be present on this page for the foreseeable future. Work through them at your own pace.

The Pastor as Counselor
 

Understanding the Influences of the Human Heart
 
 

How Does Scripture Change You?
 
 

How to Talk about Sin
 

Counseling is the Church
 
 

Ten Questions to Ask Before Starting a Counseling Ministry
 
 
 

What topics do you want to hear about?

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