Most marriages have times when one spouse does not like the other, and the dislike is usually mutual—at least my “friends” tell me that is accurate, though I’m confident that even when my wife thinks she doesn’t like me, she secretly—very secretly—likes me. For some of us, these times happen less frequently and we manage them with more skill and grace. For others, mutual dislike is chronic rather than acute, and marital hopelessness becomes the rule.
Excuse me for barging in, but it might be time for more people to intrude into the marital bedroom. Though there are some good Christian books on marital sex, most of them repeat two basic mantras: (1) Christians are not sexually reserved. Behind closed doors we are incredibly frisky and uninhibited, and (2) let your conscience be your guide. If a particular form of sexual expression is acceptable to both spouses, it is okay with God. Let’s not get legalistic in matters where we have freedom of conscience.