Men are wretched at dealing with rejection.

Women are not good at it either. But at least they are more prone to talking about it, or they are vulnerable enough to be sad. Men tend to go silent or get angry.

I want to get to sexual rejection—wives who seem to reject their husband’s sexual advances—but first, a warm-up illustration.

Julie Lowe responds to the question "Can I thrive as a person when my marriage is not thriving?"

“You should be thankful everyday that you’re married to a Christian.” She was smiling when she said it to her husband – not angry – and he received it well. He smiled too.

She became a Christian early in their twenty-year marriage. He is not a Christian, and occasionally suggests that he didn’t sign up to be married to one. In response, she is saying that being married to a Christian isn’t too shabby. She sounds like she is touting her good qualities, and I guess she is, but, as Christians, we want goodness to be apparent to others. We want godliness to go public.

There are so many marriages that have been trashed by adultery—yet are reconciled. If there was only one reconciled marriage, it would still be amazing. But there are thousands.

What is their secret?