Communication

Ed Welch  - Blog Post  - Feb 23, 2015

What relational wisdom have you learned that is important in your marriage or other close relationships? There are things we all know to do, though implement irregularly: praying together, asking forgiveness, seeing the work of the Spirit in the other, and not giving advice when the other person simply wants to be known. These bless all Christian relationships. But I am thinking about micro-applications of how faith expresses itself in love (Gal. 5:6).  These might not be obvious at first. They accumulate over time. 

Here are three that have become important to me. 

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David Powlison  - Video  - Apr 11, 2014

David Powlison discusses how to respond to crticism in marriage.

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Pierce Taylor Hibbs  - JBC Article  - Dec 17, 2013

In Part 2 of “Words of Counsel,” Hibbs provides practical helps and guidelines for how counselors can “let words work” when writing to those who are hurting and struggling. Even if you don’t see yourself as a writer, you still offer written words to those you help—even if only in an email—and Hibbs will help you do that in increasingly thoughtful ways. 

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Paul David Tripp  - JBC Article  - Jul 29, 2013

Tripp’s “How to Fight Right” equips you and those you counsel to deal with conflicts and differences. Again, he offers simple, concrete guidance. He walks with you, and walks you through. 

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Pierce Taylor Hibbs  - JBC Article  - Jul 29, 2013

We naturally think of “counseling” as happening when two people get together for a candid conversation. But effective counseling can also take place through written words—the Bible is indisputable evidence for that! This is the first of a two-part series by Pierce Hibbs about how wise and well-written notes, emails, letters, articles, books, and other literary ways of counseling can work. This first installment gives the theological big picture of how God has designed words to work.

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David Powlison, Ed Welch, Mike Emlet, Tim Lane, Winston Smith  - Premium Resource  - May 22, 2013

Coldness, indifference, boredom, and distance create hopelessness in marriage. The world offers tips to "relight the fire"; but the living God, far more deeply, restores a genuine love.

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Ed Welch  - Blog Post  - Apr 08, 2013

Counselors have opportunities to see patterns that emerge among people. Here, I think, is a pattern among men—not all men, but more than you might think. 

“When my wife talks about our relationship—or anything else—and goes on for very long, I want to listen, but I go on overload pretty quick and soon don’t understand a word she is saying.”

Many men have their limits.

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David Powlison  - JBC Article  - Jan 01, 2002

Critiques Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages. Chapman gives
advice on improving marriages by having spouses identify and respond to each
other's preferred love language, but this actually centers on the self-centered nature
of the individual desiring to change (manipulate?) the spouse's behavior. Powlison
offers another alternative: "Jesus puts things in a different light...The love of Christ
speaks a 'love language'--mercy to hellishly self-centered people..."

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Howard A. Eyrich  - JBC Article  - Jan 01, 1999

A case study in premarital counseling, with complications that threatened to
disrupt a church. Walks through how it was handled, how meetings were scheduled,
and what happened. Discusses three communications problems that were unearthed
and s olved: making uncritical assumptions about what someone else meant;
escalating the problem by exaggerated language; a significant-other-person problem
when a third party got thrown in the mix between two persons.

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Paul David Tripp  - JBC Article  - Jan 01, 1998

Unfolds communication goals and principles from Galatians 5-6 using a case study of marital communication breakdown. 5:13-15 shows how words destroy: people serve selfish goals rather than to serve in love, they forget God, and they eat each other up. Galatians 5:16-6:2 teaches how to speak words of redemption into a world of sin. Unpacks 10 specific aspects of speaking redemptively.

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