We cannot do battle with an anonymous foe, and both guilt and shame can be nameless. We might know we feel horrible and hopeless, our view of ourselves is trashed, we feel like a failure in everything, but the culprit is elusive. So, we will start with simple definitions of guilt and shame. We will discover when they intersect and when they diverge - the early books of the Old Testament will help us get our bearings. Then we will find words for these experiences and be blessed to know the God who names the silences.

During His time on Earth, Jesus walked among the guilty and shamed. The Gospels are full of stories that depict Jesus welcoming and speaking to these people. In this session we will examine where the Scriptures—and where Jesus—takes them: to forgiveness, hope, and cleansing. Jesus was the Aaronic blessing walking around in the flesh--God’s face shining upon His people, bringing peace. We will examine this transforming truth and also consider the ways in which we fail to live in light of this blessing.

This session will examine the great proclamation of Romans 8 that there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. What implications does our union with Christ have on our daily lives? How do we speak the truth of this foundational doctrine to those who struggle to believe it? This session will remind us of the life-changing good news that because of Jesus’ perfect life, death, and resurrection, those who put their faith in Him no longer bear any guilt or condemnation.

Jesus changes everything. Everything. And shame is at the very center of what he changes. He keeps shame in view from his birth to his death. He loved the shamed and outcast, he identified with them, he became them. Watch his life and you see the King absorbing the shame of the world. Watch his crucifixion and you see the death of shame. But the fruit of all this is a little different than we might expect. Instead of being the ones who receive honor and liberation from shame, we are lead in a path, like his, that leads down and then up. The difference is that, while we walk that path, we can look down on shame and no longer be controlled by it. We receive great honor with Jesus, of that there is no doubt. But, from the world’s perspective, we have only taken a step or two lower because we are associated with a dead Hebrew who we think is alive and reigning.

The coming of the Kingdom of God is inaugurated by Jesus in his first coming. It will be fully realized in his second coming. The Great Reversal has begun and God has initiated his plan to cleanse and heal all things. How does this present and future reality and hope express itself now within the body of Christ and individual local churches?

Living in a broken world, none of us are immune to the tragic stories of childhood sexual abuse. Recent headlines have featured cases of abuse within religious organizations that are supposed to protect. Sadly, many have unknowingly contributed to the problem, either through a naïve denial or by a lack of training, understanding and a subsequent informed and relevant response. The goal of this seminar is to better understand the way children are targeted, preyed upon and groomed by predators. It will also analyze the impact this has on children, families and the Church.

Church Leaders work for change. They work to see sinners freed, enemies love, and the fearful getting to work for the kingdom. To this end, the temptation is to rely on human wisdom. But what church leaders require is not a new idea, program, or method. They need a growing confidence in the power of God's Word. God's Word alone produces change, the change for which everyone longs.

Often the same frustrations, heartaches, and problems of marriage show up daily until they just become ordinary moments of our lives. With God’s help though, these moments can become opportunities for extraordinary change. As we begin to understand God’s purposes for these moments, we learn to connect to and apply the love of Christ with wisdom and power. This pre-conference is based on Winston’s book, Marriage Matters.

When the Bible talks about the gift of a new heart, it does not mean a heart that is immediately perfected, but a heart that is capable of being changed. Jesus' work on the cross targets our hearts, our core desires and motivations, and when our hearts change, our behaviors change. This session will focus on the centrality of heart change. If you are new to CCEF or Biblical Counseling, this is the session for you. It will help you to gain insights on how to walk alongside others in the change process, as well as how to live more fully for Christ as he transforms your own heart.

Where can you find refuge when much of life feels like you’re on stage...and you have stage fright?! When the fear of humiliation (“Social Anxiety” as it is clinically known) becomes a pervasive and controlling part of our experience, we become intensely self-conscious and want to hide. If responsibilities cannot be avoided, distracting low-grade dread sets in while panic becomes more frequent closer to deadlines. What does the Lord speak into this experience? How does he transform our fear into faith and reorient our inward self-preoccupation to outward loving kindness? This workshop will equip you more wisely to counsel those whose lives are gripped by fears of inadequacy and exposure.

Writer Anne Lamott has called perfectionism “the voice of the oppressor.” That’s what it feels like: days filled with “must” and “have to” and “should have” and “if only.” Life is a treadmill of obligations. And that’s true whether you are (for the moment) “successful” in your perfectionistic striving or (more commonly) “unsuccessful.” Either way, anxiety, guilt, shame, joylessness, self-condemnation, anger, and procrastination abound. This breakout session will explore the roots and effects of perfectionism and will examine the ways this mindset impacts our view of God, self, and others. It will then provide biblical perspectives and solutions to liberate those held captive by their perfectionism (although it won’t do it perfectly of course!)

When we witness a divorce, we often focus on the headlines: what went wrong, who is responsible, custody arrangements, financial needs, and sometimes even church discipline. It’s easy to miss the insidious work that guilt and shame are doing behind the scenes. Divorced spouses feel like “damaged goods” and “second-class citizens” in the church. Children blame themselves, and well-meaning helpers litter the path with half-truths and pat answers. Guilt and shame are often complicated or masked by silence, anxiety, anger, and bitterness. This workshop will equip the pastor, counselor, and friend to speak words of healing and grace to the divorced.

Why are our lives characterized by falsehood, guilt, and death? Why doesn't hiding work? And what is God's plan? In this session, we will be taking a look at the Bible's answers for where our guilt comes from. If you are a church leader, lay person, or counselor, come and join us as we think about how the Bible describes the origin of guilt and why that matters for your ministry.

The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were shocked by the company he kept - tax collectors, prostitutes, and “sinners”- and yet Jesus joyfully welcomed them because “the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.” As those found and saved by him, our corporate worship should be rich with messages of God’s gracious love for the guilty and shamed. In this workshop, you will learn ways to amplify the messages of grace that address guilt and shame through common elements of worship such as singing of hymns, Psalms, responsive readings, confession of sin, and the sacraments of baptism and communion. This workshop is intended for those who lead worship services as well as those counseling those who need help appropriating the benefits of worship for themselves.

For some, the minute they walk out of their homes and into society, they feel as if they don’t belong. For others, the moment they get out of bed and face their family, they feel different or out of place. Many live with feelings of shame within the very places they hope would provide refuge and comfort. They believe their only recourse is either to work hard to fit in or to distance themselves. The gospel, however, gives true comfort and strength: a refuge amidst fears, isolation and loneliness. This workshop is for those who want to know more about shaming places, the experiences of people who live in them over long periods of time and how to bring practical, personal, gospel hope for the struggler.

The use of shame in parenting is designed to cause children to restrain behavior through undesirable thoughts and feelings about themselves. It involves negative and shaming comments about what the child is doing or who the child is, giving children a poor and inaccurate view of themselves. Instead of drawing them to see their worth in Christ’s eyes, children are taught to rely on the approval or disapproval of parents or caretakers. In this workshop, we will seek to understand the damage this style of parenting can cause while offering hope and grace to parents in how to approach their child with Christ’s love and grace. This gospel grace will woo children to a loving God who embraces them and yet calls them to change. If you are a parent, work with children whose environment was shame-based, or have experienced this style of parenting yourself, this workshop will be a support and a help.

The word “discipline” is not popular. It often evokes feelings of shame and guilt. That is also the case with church discipline, especially in cultural contexts where shame is something to be avoided at all costs. 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15 says, If anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of him. Do not associate with him, in order that he may feel ashamed. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother. Hebrews 12 reminds us that God disciplines those he loves. So how do we approach the issue of church discipline in such a way that both shame and discipline are redeemed and used for good? This workshop will explore practical ways to approach church discipline and better equip those who are called to exercise discipline to do so with wisdom and compassion.

Pornography has been described as a sexual scourge among men. Distorted thinking; addictive behavior; foolishness; double-mindedness; broken relationships—all of these things characterize men who are struggling, but what about guilt and shame? How does a counselor think about guilt and shame for Christians struggling with pornography? How do we offer pornography addicts a gospel-centered perspective on fighting this problem? In this workshop, we will think through the problem of pornography; biblically examine guilt and shame; explain how guilt and shame relate to pornography struggles; and (most importantly) help counselors think about how to counsel different aspects of guilt and shame for those struggling with pornography. If you are counseling or discipling someone who struggles with pornography, or if you struggle with it yourself, this workshop will be helpful to you.

Should I talk to my spouse about my sexual past? What about current sexual sin? As Christians, we find freedom from guilt and shame as Jesus forgives and cleanses us. But how does that translate into our marriages? It can be difficult to know what to confess to God alone and what to share with our spouses. Questions like “Will it help to tell her something that’s only going to hurt her?” and “Will I ruin our marriage if I tell him about my past and he’s disgusted with me?” abound. This breakout session - targeted for spouses, as well as engaged and dating couples- will examine this thorny issue by looking to Scripture for practical guidance on confessing sexual sin with bold honesty while also thoughtfully caring for the spouse who has been hurt.

Shame and guilt are often overarching and lingering issues for adult survivors of sexual abuse. A sense of being unclean and isolated can permeate a survivor’s sense of their own identity, warp their view of the reality of God’s world, and impact relationships long after the abuse has come to an end. There are also complex and confusing questions of guilt relating both to the original abuse and also to sinful struggles that develop as time goes on. This breakout session will enter the experience of isolation and rejection endured in long-term shame in order to bring a sense of new creation to the survivor’s sense of identity. We will also come alongside the survivor to sort through issues of guilt and responsibility with a sense of gospel grace and hope.

Teenagers don’t own the experience of ‘identity crisis’. Both mid-life and end-of-life bring abundant opportunities for confusion, regrets and false-starts. People grope for meaning and identity. The big (and painful) questions are the same at any age—What is it all for? Who am I? What matters? How should I live? What lasts? Those questions take different forms, always bringing an opportunity for growth and change. This workshop will offer practical understanding and practical help. How is it that in the valley of the shadow of death you come to fear no evil? How can you help others in crisis?

Same-sex attraction. Homosexuality. Too often the church responds to these struggles with an embarrassed silence--don’t ask, don’t tell--or an angry tirade that produces more division then unity. The result: the individual who struggles with same-sex attraction or who has engaged in homosexual practice feels isolated, confused, and condemned, their own silence and shame perpetuated. As a community of redeemed people who are “tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,” how can we address these struggles with grace and truth? How can our churches become communities where biblical perspective on the experience of same-sex attraction is wedded to thoughtful, compassionate ministry? This session should be helpful for leaders and church members who want to make their local congregations places of welcome for strugglers. It should also provide gospel-centered perspective for those who struggle with same-sex attraction, particularly men.

‘Low self-esteem’ is a catch-all term for profound questions relating to shame, guilt, regrets, self-evaluation, self-knowledge and sense of identity. What are the whys and wherefores of self-condemnation? What causes the heights and depths of a distorted self-image? How does knowing God correlate to knowing yourself? How does God patiently transform an ‘evil’ conscience into a ‘good’ conscience? This workshop will probe both the problem and the solution.

Legalism is usually a description of the church down the street that is not relevant to us and to our church. The reality, of course, is that when Paul, in Galatians, identifies our instincts to live under the law he is talking to all of us. We may not be making a big deal out of circumcision, but we inevitably find our own ways to pursue law over grace, and it actually feels very spiritual to us. So legalism is in all of us, and you will find it under everything from anger to depression. This session will bring this tendency to the light and then combat it with that most precious of biblical teachings - union with Christ.

Randy and Joan will be using their personal testimonies to highlight the challenges of shame and guilt in the aftermath of child sexual abuse, abandonment, and poverty. They will talk about the downward spiral of seeking marital intimacy through inappropriate means, the legitimacy of need versus the inability of affection, the shame and lie of addiction, and the deliverance and hope of Grace.