Your husband received a near unanimous vote from the congregation when he was called but someone must have rigged the count. After his very first sermon, his approval rating started its relentless downward course, and it feels like the nay-sayers are killing your soul. And all the while, you are expected to keep on smiling and maintain civility.
This, of course, does not represent the experience of every pastor’s wife, only most of them.
You of all people know your husband is not perfect, but you also know that he genuinely loves the people in the church, prays for congregants like a parent, is always on call, and does his ministry with integrity. This, you believe, suggests that he deserves to be treated at least as well as people’s pets.
When he is maligned, it hurts you too
Actually, your situation is harder than his. It is more difficult to see a loved one mistreated than it is to be mistreated yourself. It is similar to how you feel about your kids. If someone mistreats you, you can handle it, but if someone says a word against your kids, you turn into an angry mother bear.
Oh, and if you have children, and they begin to notice some of the congregation’s negativity, they will be hurt.
Ten possible responses
1. Grin and hate people in your heart.
1. Try to avoid the “suffer in silence” alternative as much as possible. Satan divides, and this is an ideal scenario for him to do such things. Talk to your spouse and share your predicament: you want him to share from his heart, but don’t want to make life more difficult for him by your reactions. You want the spiritual gift of unity, but maybe you don’t need all the details of what people are saying to him.
5. Care about being fruitful. Abide in Jesus and he will make you so.
Read "Pastoral Ministry: A Sure Way to Be Dishonored" here