We settle for too little. It is so easy to set the bar at mere obedience. Do right. Do right in the midst of temptations. Do right in suffering. These are certainly good, but when we know Jesus, we know there is more—we know there is joy.
Excuse me for barging in, but it might be time for more people to intrude into the marital bedroom. Though there are some good Christian books on marital sex, most of them repeat two basic mantras: (1) Christians are not sexually reserved. Behind closed doors we are incredibly frisky and uninhibited, and (2) let your conscience be your guide. If a particular form of sexual expression is acceptable to both spouses, it is okay with God. Let’s not get legalistic in matters where we have freedom of conscience.
Women are not good at it either. But at least they are more prone to talking about it, or they are vulnerable enough to be sad. Men tend to go silent or get angry.
I want to get to sexual rejection—wives who seem to reject their husband’s sexual advances—but first, a warm-up illustration.
He is forty-two-years-old and his physician suggested that Ritilan or one of its relatives might be helpful. So he tried it, and it was helpful.
“There hasn’t been anything magical about it, but I noticed a difference almost right away. My brain just felt clearer and more orderly. My wife has noticed the difference too.”
My first response was simple.
“That’s great.”
My second response was, “please, tell me more.” He is a biblically thoughtful and insightful man, and I was eager to learn from him.
Doesn’t it seem good and right to fight against sin in such a way that it physically hurts? To say “no” when everything inside us wants to say “yes”?
And the last time that happened was . . .
Sin takes different forms such as pride, unbelief and lust. It is lust in particular— reckless desire, covetousness, I WANT!—that hurts when taken to task.
Here is one reason you must be called to pastoral ministry: the people you love will not love you back—at least some of them will not love you back. They will say utterly horrible things about you, so you better be sure you want to do this. It is one thing to be dissed by the world around you; it is something else again to be demeaned by your own church family while you are pouring your heart out for them.
We have always talked about psychiatric medications in terms of wisdom: sometimes it is wise to use them, sometimes it is not. But if you follow CCEF citations of secular research, we typically identify literature that shows the limitations of medication and so, over time, we seem negative.
